Afloat

How long have I sat in front of this screen trying to decide how to start?

We have reached the end of a week that has had periods of fun, sleeplessness, happiness, exhaustion, surprise, sadness, worry, regret, searching, restlessness and finally a little peace.

It was all a bit too much for me to take and while I'm happy to be over it, life goes on and I can only imagine what the future holds.

Last weekend was the Fiestas de Cuenca celebrating Cuenca's independence. I'm unclear on the history and what exactly Cuenca gained its independence from. What I do know is that Cuencanos party like it's 1999 for a good four days straight. Four friends visited me for the celebration. I should say that three are other Fulbright ETAs whom I met when we arrived and the fourth is a new friend that they brought along for the festivities. We spent out days walking from one end of town to the other visiting cathedrals, listening to music and shopping in extensive international markets featuring artisans throughout South America. At night the others went out and danced and I declined invitations to join. I still stayed up far past my normal bedtime although I was waking up at my normal time each morning. On Saturday night the city partied with loud music within a half block of my house until 2:15 in the morning. In my top floor bedroom it sounded like the band was performing on the roof.

My friends returned to their home cities and life began returning to normal. My body revolted against the weekend's change in schedule and I got sick again for a few days. It was miserable. I'm feeling better now that I'm back on a regular schedule. I taught classes to my level one students. They did pretty well and I finally wrapped up the lessons on elections in the United States and Ecuador. I have explained the electoral college system more than a dozen times and know it better than I ever have.

Two days ago without anything tangible changing, I was overcome by an unexpected change. I hope to spare this poor blog and its readers drama and proceed with dignity. I have been released from what has helped ground me for the last four years. The funny thing is that wandering down here around the equator for the past two months, my relationship was held together by infrequent video chats and phone calls. Everyday I thought about the connection I had to the one I love only to be made aware that while I wasn't looking the connection has been severed. It feels like I'm in a little lifeboat tethered to shore on a long rope. I'm bobbing along, looking at the waves, the sun, the clouds, drifting off to nap and then all of a sudden I find the frayed end of the rope floating alongside the boat and I'm in the middle of the sea, no shore in sight.

Oops, too much drama. Sorry about that.

I went for a swim for the first time this week. Between having guests, getting sick and recovering my strength, I haven't been able to go to the pool since last Thursday. In the pool I found my peace and I realize that nothing has changed in the moment and I have no control. All I can do is teach, eat, sleep, talk to friends, write, walk, swim, accept or reject invitations as I see fit, read and live my life here in Ecuador. Time continues to pass and in December I'll see my family and all the people I miss so much. That's only six weeks away and the time will pass quickly, I have no doubt.

For the next three weeks I'll be teaching a lesson on holidays and traditions in Ecuador. Or I should say, I'll be leading a lesson in which my Ecuadorian students will be teaching me about holidays and traditions in this country. I'm looking forward to learning a lot - I learned a lot about elections in Ecuador during the past three weeks.